Would I be a surrogate?

Would I be a surrogate?

Friendly Debates With The Danielle’s

Would you consider surrogacy?  Yay or nay?
For me, the answer would be yay!  At least I think so.  Oddly enough, a good friend and I were discussing this a few months back.  Truthfully, I probably will never be in a situation to decide because I want 5 kids and am only pregnant with my 2nd right now, so by the time I am done, I would most likely be too old to be considered.  I will be 33 when this baby is born, and while we want them all fairly close together, I will still be 39 or so when I am done.
A few years ago, a friend of mine was looking for a surrogate.  They had their first child, and their baby had MS.  (I believe this is what he has, I hope I’m not wrong).  It was passed from his mom, who didn’t know she had MS until after the baby was born.  They wanted another baby, but not the risk of having another baby with MS.  When he asked me about it, I was thinking, helk yeah, of course I will…but only if you can wait until I have my own baby first.  I knew that wasn’t realistic though.  
I wanted to know what it felt like to have a baby before I committed to helping him and his wife.  I don’t know how I would handle having to give up the baby when it is time, but I would love to help.  I get so emotionally attached to the baby in my belly, but if I went into it knowing it wasn’t my baby, maybe that would be different.  I would absolutely love to help out a friend who desperately wanted a baby of their own.  I have a few friends who are trying so hard to have a baby and it’s not working for one reason or another.  They are well deserving and would make great parents, and to know I had a hand in helping them with their dream would mean a ton to me!
How do you feel about this?   Would you be a surrogate?


  • As much as I want to, I don’t think I can be a surrogate. Pregnancy creates a special bond between a mom and a baby and I don’t think I will be able to give the baby to other parents no matter what my relationship with them is.
    It’s really so nice of you to be willing to do it for a friend. 🙂


  • I actually wanted to add something after thinking about this last night.
    I guess the main reason that I havent accepted my friend’s offer on being my surrogate is the fact that I dont really agree with the whole situation.
    The reasoning for me is the fact that maybe these people who cannot have bebe’s are there for a reason?
    Maybe it is to help one or two of the millions of parentless children out there that so desperately pray for a family every night?
    I understand that people want their “OWN” from their own egg and sperm but to me that is quite selfish seeing how there are so many family-less children and babies waiting so desperatly for a family to come and rescue them.

    Yes, of course it would be great to have my own… but wouldnt it be great to change a life for the better rather than doing something so unnatural just because of what you want?

    I have strange ethics, but they take in to account everything, not my own “wants”.

    The bummer part of it for me, is that they make adoption too difficult financially. I know we would be good parents (definitely better than being tossed around the system!) but it is so darned expensive to adopt. That’s the sad part.
    They really should make it doable for the average person.
    I would have adopted by now if that was the case.

    Anyways, I just wanted to add that!
    Thanks 🙂

    • I can certainly understand that. I have had thoughts somewhat along that line at points in my life. I have felt like if God wanted people to have a baby naturally, that it would happen, and that if it didn’t, that God had other plans for them regarding children.

      I didn’t really know anything at all about adoption until just a few days ago. I was talking with a friend of mine who has been trying to get pregnant. We have daughters around the same age, and wanted to have the next babies around the same time. She doesn’t ovulate on her own, and has to have a treatment, I forget what the drug is called, to make her ovulate. They went through it with their daughter as well. When I was talking to her the other day, she was filling out adoption paperwork. I felt like I bombarded her with questions, but I was really interested. They have always planned on adopting kids anyways. She’s only 23, her husband 25, and it was surprising to hear that their options were somewhat limited, especially if they wanted a baby instead of an older child because of their age. That didn’t make a ton of sense to me, they have been married for a few years, own their own home, have their own baby, stable jobs and stable lives. To be restricted because of age seemed silly when they really want to adopt. As it turns out, she called last night to say she was pregnant, so they would be waiting, but they still plan to adopt a few children anyways.

      I personally had never really considered adoption, but have considered being a foster parent at some point in the future. I think that it is fantastic for people to adopt because there are so many children out there that need a family to love them. I do wish there weren’t so many obstacles to adopting though, I understand why there are, but for some people, they seem unreasonable.

      I didn’t realize how much it costs to adopt a baby. My friend never even mentioned that part, just the age obstacle. I really hope that it works out for you at some point in the future, it shouldn’t be that hard for people who want to and can provide for a child in a good environment.

  • What a great post, thanks so much for linking up with us this week! I love all of your responses.

    @Tumblestone Handmakery – I understand what you are saying. I go back and forth with the question, is it “right” for me to be a surrogate? With all of the children out there who are parent-less, would it be right of me to do? I just am not sure. I wish adoption was cheaper.

    • Thanks for hosting the link ups Danielle! I really like this topic and I have loved the responses I have been getting. Now I have time to read everybody elses tonight 🙂

  • My answer would be yes too. I have a friend who has had trouble TTC due to PCOS and I already told her I would if she ever considered surrogacy. Some people are so amazing and so deserve children.

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