I go to bed at night certain that in some way, I have screwed up my kids for life. That something I did that day will be remembered forever because of my actions. At the end of the day, I pray for more patience, more guidance, the right words to fix something, the right actions to teach my kids what I want them to learn. I don’t get it right every time, but every so often, I find my parenting groove and realize, I’ve got this! I can do this parenting thing and my kids won’t be too screwed up.
When Maggie is crying really hard, and just can’t calm herself down, I always tell her, it’s okay to talk to God and ask him to bring peace and good feelings into your heart so you aren’t so sad anymore. He will always listen. This morning, after telling Charlie the same thing for what seemed like the millionth time, I said out loud, I am going to be a rotten mommy today, I can tell. A few minutes later, this gorgeous, incredible, and completely amazing little 3 year old said to me….
Mommy, you can just ask Jesus to help you not be a rotten mommy today.
The only thing I could say was, “You are right, Maggie. I will do that.” And I asked God again for more patience with my little boy who is so curious and has leadership qualities that make me crazy. It’s been a struggle lately, but amidst all of that, I had tears in my eyes. I sat there beaming at Maggie, so proud of who she is and how thoughtful she is towards her friends, her brother, and even me. I realized in that moment, that it’s alright not to be perfect. That every now and then, I hit that parenting groove and if only for a short while, I’m an awesome mom, and these two are learning from me. That they are seeing the good more often than the bad and maybe, just maybe I should stop beating myself up over it.