I love Mother’s Day. Let’s start there. I am so very honored to be a mommy to the most amazing little girl and to have this busy little baby growing in my belly getting ready to greet us. So I love Mother’s Day. But…..
When I was 15 years old, my parents died. I’m sure you can imagine the shock that we experienced. I will post about that another time, but it’s worth mentioning here. You see, my parents died May 13th, 1994. Every so often (about every 7 years), this happens to fall on Mother’s Day. The day just hurts. Most of the time, I am just fine, but you throw the mix of all of the emotions from a day that holds so much sadness in my life with a day that holds so much joy and I have no idea what tomorrow will bring for me. I worry I will be a mess. I don’t want to be. But to be fair, I’m kind of a mess lately anyways. This week, one of my uncles was found dead so we are in the process of planning his funeral. I grew up next door to my uncle so this is really hard for all of us.
I will add, that we were very lucky girls (my 2 sisters and I)….my aunt and uncle took us in and there hasn’t been a day in my life that they have ever treated us like we weren’t there own. So, my aunt is really struggling since it’s her step brother that just died and it’s all falling on her shoulders. We are taking a time out from life to celebrate Mother’s Day. More than anything, I hope I can be a strong person and not cry when we are out together. She has so much on her mind, her step brother dying and then my dad (her brother) having died on this day. I want to be strong for her because she needs a break! My aunt is just wonderful, and I can’t imagine my life without her in it on a regular basis now. She has definitely shown that you don’t have to give birth to somebody to be a wonderful mommy to them.
Now, add in pregnancy hormones. I went through this the first time too. I spend a lot of time crying that my mom and dad don’t get to meet my little people. It’s annoying. I need to quit, but I am really sad. And towards the end of the pregnancies, I tend to cry about this a lot more. So for at least two weeks, this has been bringing me to tears.
In spite of all of this, I plan to have a wonderful Mother’s Day. We are going to lunch at Baker’s Square and the little people will be with us, that’s always entertaining. Then we are going to my aunt’s to laugh and play games and just have fun. So while I know that at some point during the day, I’m bound to burst into uncontrollable tears, I know we will still celebrate the wonderfulness that is being mommy.
I wish each and every one of you mommys a fantastic Mother’s Day.